#RIPUSA Trumpflation more than a neologism ... it will burn a hole in your pocket

Definition of 'Trumpflation'

Trumpflation is the inflation that might appear during Donald J. Trump's U.S. presidential administration. Though Trumpflation is still only speculative, markets have already signaled they believe Trump will spur inflation in the U.S. dollar.

Break Down 'Trumpflation'

Since Donald Trump emerged as the victor of the 2016 presidential election early in the morning of November 9, markets have been strongly indicating that higher inflation is on its way. According to a Bank of America Merrill Lynch (BAML) report released November 10, 2016, rolling eight-week inflows to Treasury Inflation Protected Securities (TIPS), the par value of which is linked to the consumer price index (CPI), hit a record. Ten-year Treasury yields rose 30 basis points to 2.15% between November 8 and November 10, leading to a steeper yield curve, which indicates higher inflation expectations.

There are a number of reasons Trump's policies could cause a shift away from a disinflationary post-financial crisis environment. The president-elect has promised to spend $1 trillion on infrastructure projects over ten years. While he has separately promised to reduce or even eliminate the nation's $19.8 trillion debt, most independent analyses agree that Trump will boost deficit spending. The resulting boost to the economy is likely to spark reflation.

At the same time, Trump's (not entirely consistent) hostility to the current Federal Reserve's accommodative policy indicates that he will shift the burden of stimulus from monetary policy to fiscal policy. That could signal the end to an era of central bank bond-buying (the Fed's quantitative easing program ended in October 2014, but QE continues in Japan and Europe). Forced demand for sovereign debt has pushed down interest rates to the extent that much of the world's sovereign debt carries negative yields.

Trump's other policies are also expected to spur inflation. Tax cuts will likely boost after-tax incomes. Curbs on immigration will likely push wages up. Protectionist policies will likely raise import prices. At the same time, Trump's galvanizing effect on economic nationalists elsewhere in the rich world could see his policies emulated in other major markets.

Trumpflation is not guaranteed to happen. Trends such as continued technological innovation, an aging population and swelling global debt continue to push down prices, as BAML pointed out in an October report. The size of the national debt could also put a damper on the effects of further stimulus, keeping growth and inflation in check. Lacy Hunt, executive vice president at Hoisington Investment Management Co., told the Wall Street Journal on November 16 that from 1952 to 1999, taking on $1.70 in additional non-financial debt would lead to $1 in gross domestic product (GDP) growth. By 2015, the figure had risen to $4.90.


Gold and Trumpflation

Trumpflation Might Not Help Gold if Real Rates Keep Rising
Gold bugs are caught between a shiny rock and an asset inflation can't debase.


Photographer: Lisi Niesner/Bloomberg


What's happened to gold?

Conventional wisdom held that the uncertainty that would follow a Donald Trump victory in the election would be very positive for safe-haven assets like gold, but since Nov. 8 the shiny stuff has fallen by more than 6 percent to below $1,200 per ounce.


Source: Bloomberg

And if gold's a hedge against rampant inflation, wouldn't the imminent installment of the inflation president also prove a boon?

That may be because although fears of (in/de)flation, the disintegration of civilization in general or the European Union in particular, food prices, investor sentiment, and bets on monetary disorder have all taken their turns in being cited as the key factor in gold investment theses, the behavior of real rates has proved far more important in explaining bullion's gyrations.

Following durable goods orders for October that more than lived up to their name and dispelled any notion of election-related uncertainty restraining business activity ahead of the event, the yield on five-year Treasury Inflation-Protected Securities (or TIPS) broke into positive territory, hitting levels not seen since March 16, as gold tumbled.


Source: Bloomberg

Such an observation is hardly novel.

Eddy Elfenbein, portfolio manager at AdvisorShares Investments LLC and founder of Crossing Wall Street, has built a model predicting where gold prices will go based on the deviation of short-term real interest rates from their natural level. The Globe and Mail's Scott Barlow has also explained the relationship between the two assets on a number of occasions.

The thinking here is that the value of a hard asset with a yield of zero (net of storage costs) will be affected by the relative real yield on assets that are considered risk free, an alternative holding. In other words, the so-called opportunity cost of buying gold rises as real Treasury yields increase.

So if you want to know how the president-elect is changing the outlook for gold, looking at inflation-protected Treasury yields instead might prove more useful than searching for nascent signs of Trumpflation.

The Olsa Academic Fantasy Disaster

Prof. Efraim Karsh, the incoming director of the Begin-Sadat Center for Strategic Studies, indicts the Oslo diplomatic process as “the starkest strategic blunder in Israel’s history” and as “one of the worst calamities ever to have afflicted Israelis and Palestinians.”

“Twenty three years after its euphoric launch on the White House lawn,” Karsh writes in this comprehensive study, “the Oslo ‘peace process’ has substantially worsened the position of both parties and made the prospects for peace and reconciliation ever more remote.”

“The process has led to establishment of an ineradicable terror entity on Israel’s doorstep, deepened Israel’s internal cleavages, destabilized its political system, and weakened its international standing.”

“It has been a disaster for West Bank and Gaza Palestinians too. It has brought about subjugation to corrupt and repressive PLO and Hamas regimes. These regimes have reversed the hesitant advent of civil society in these territories, shattered their socioeconomic wellbeing, and made the prospects for peace and reconciliation with Israel ever more remote.”

“This abject failure is a direct result of the Palestinian leadership’s perception of the process as a pathway not to a two-state solution – meaning Israel alongside a Palestinian state in the West Bank and Gaza – but to the subversion of the State of Israel. They view Oslo not as a path to nation-building and state creation, but to the formation of a repressive terror entity that perpetuates conflict with Israel, while keeping its hapless constituents in constant and bewildered awe as Palestinian leaders line their pockets from the proceeds of this misery.”

Karsh details at length how the Oslo process has weakened Israel’s national security in several key respects.

On the strategic and military levels, it allowed the PLO to achieve in one fell swoop its strategic vision of transforming the West Bank and the Gaza Strip into terror hotbeds that would disrupt Israel’s way of life (to use Yasser Arafat’s words).

Politically and diplomatically, he says, Oslo instantaneously transformed the PLO (and, to a lesser extent, Hamas) into an internationally accepted political actor while upholding its commitment to Israel’s destruction, edging toward fully fledged statehood outside the Oslo framework, and steadily undermining Israel’s international standing.

The ending of Israel’s occupation of the Palestinian population of the territories within three-and-a-half years from the onset of the process has gone totally unnoticed (due partly to Palestinian propaganda, partly to Israel’s failure to get this critical point across), with the Jewish state still subject to international opprobrium for the nonexistent “occupation.”

Domestically, Oslo radicalized Israel’s Arab minority, nipping in the bud its decades-long “Israelization” process and putting it on a collision course with Israel’s Jewish community. No less importantly, it made Israeli politics captive to the vicissitudes of Palestinian-Israeli relations, with the PLO and Hamas becoming the effective arbiters of Israel’s political discourse and electoral process.

“On the face of it,” Karsh writes, “Israel’s massive setbacks can be considered Palestinian gains. Yet one’s loss is not necessarily the other’s gain. The Palestinian leadership’s zero-sum approach and predication of Palestinian national identity on hatred of the ‘other,’ rather than on a distinct shared legacy, has resulted in decades of dispersal and statelessness.”

“Even if the PLO were to succeed in gaining international recognition of a fully fledged Palestinian state (with or without a formal peace treaty with Israel) and in preventing Hamas from seizing power, it would still be a failed entity in the worst tradition of Arab dictatorships, in permanent conflict with its Israeli neighbor while brutally repressing its unfortunate subjects.”

Karsh bemoans that fact that “there has been no real reckoning by the Oslo architects and their erstwhile ‘peace camp’ successors, both in Israel and abroad, of the worst blunder in Israel’s history, and no rethinking of its disastrously misconceived assumptions – let alone any public admission of guilt or show of remorse over its horrific costs.”

“Instead, they continue to willfully ignore the Palestinian leadership’s total lack of interest in the two-state solution and serial violation of contractual obligations. They continue to whitewash ongoing Palestinian violence, belittle the extent of Israeli suffering, and blame Jerusalem for the stalled process despite the public endorsement of the two-state solution by five successive Israeli prime ministers: Peres, Barak, Sharon, Olmert, and Netanyahu.”

“Not only has the same terror-tainted Palestinian leadership come to be universally viewed as the prospective government of a future Palestinian state, but its goal of having this state established without negotiating with Israel, or even recognizing its right to exist, seems to be gaining ever wider currency. This soft racism – asking nothing of the Palestinians as if they are too dim or too primitive to be held accountable for their own words and actions – is an assured recipe for disaster.”

“For so long as not a single Palestinian leader evinces genuine acceptance of the two-state solution or acts in a way signifying an unqualified embrace of the idea, there can be no true or lasting reconciliation with Israel. And so long as the territories continue to be governed by the PLO’s and Hamas’s rule of the jungle, no Palestinian civil society, let alone a viable state, can develop.”

“Just as the creation of free and democratic societies in Germany and Japan after World War II necessitated a comprehensive sociopolitical and educational transformation, so it will only be when Palestinian society undergoes a real ‘spring’ that the century-long conflict between Arabs and Jews can at long last be resolved and a semi-functioning Palestinian state come into being. This requires sweeping the corrupt and oppressive PLO and Hamas rulers from power, eliminating endemic violence from political and social life, and teaching the virtues of coexistence with Israeli neighbors.”

“Sadly, the possibility of a Palestinian spring, which seemed to be in the offing in 1993 when the PLO hovered on the verge of extinction and West Bank and Gaza leadership appeared eager to strike a historic deal within the framework of the Washington peace negotiations, has been destroyed for the foreseeable future by the Oslo ‘peace process’.”

A renowned authority on Middle Eastern history and politics, Prof. Karsh has authored over 100 scholarly articles and sixteen books, and is editor of the Middle East Quarterly and Israel Affairs academic journals.

Prof. Efraim Karsh taught for 25 years at King’s College London, where he founded and directed the Middle East and Mediterranean Studies Program (currently the Institute of Middle Eastern Studies). In 2013 he joined Bar-Ilan University as professor of political science. In November 2016 he will succeed Prof. Efraim Inbar as director of the Begin-Sadat Center for Strategic Studies.

#RIPUSA Trump and his promise to move the US Embassy to Jerusalem

Moving the US embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem would be a good example of the kind of policy change that President-Elect Donald Trump has said is needed in Washington. More importantly, this action could mark a new US strategy for pursuing Israeli-Palestinian peace: Telling the truth. The US State Department, which has always opposed moving the US embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, understands very well that any peace agreement between Israel and the Palestinians will leave at least western Jerusalem as Israel’s capital and part of sovereign Israel. So why will the State Department nevertheless advise President-Elect Donald Trump not to fulfill his promise to move the embassy? Moving the embassy to Israel’s actual capital would provoke Arab anger at the US and lead to protests that might turn violent. The foreign policy establishment wishes to prevent this result and protect America’s status as an “honest broker.” It therefore continues to insist that because Jerusalem’s ultimate status can only be determined by agreement between Israel and the Palestinians, and that it would be wrong for the US to “prejudge” the outcome by acting on the truth that Israel’s capital is Jerusalem. This is a perfect example of the kind of politically-correct establishment pettifogging that Trump campaigned against. Moving the embassy to Jerusalem is a low-cost action that he could take as soon as he is inaugurated, and one of the easiest and quickest changes in policy that he could implement. The new US consulate in Jerusalem was built with security features that would be needed for an embassy, so the move could be started almost immediately, without any prejudice to the Palestinian claim to eastern Jerusalem. The State Department’s insistence on the diplomatic fiction that none of Jerusalem is part of Israel helps preserve the Palestinian hope that, someday, Israel will be forced to give up its capital and will be destroyed as the independent, democratic Jewish state. That Palestinian hope is the main obstacle to peace. The Palestinians can only make peace when their community – and perhaps the Arab world of which it is a part – comes to understand that international pressure will never force Israel to acquiesce in its own destruction. One of the best ways the US can demonstrate that it will never consent to the Palestinian destruction of Israel is for Washington to stop ignoring blatant Palestinian lies that work against peace. There is another way that an American truth-telling strategy could encourage peace.  Palestinian leadership now tells its people – and most of them believe – that compromise with Israel would be immoral because Israel is a colonial invader that stole Palestinian land by force. By that argument, Israel has no moral claim to any of the land, and any concession to it would be dishonorable. But Israel is descended from Jewish kingdoms that ruled parts of the land for centuries in ancient times. It too has a traditional base for moral claims to the territory (in addition to legal claims from the League of Nations mandate). If the Palestinians recognized this truth, they would see that compromise between the two groups, each of which has valid claims to the land, could be an honorable way to end the dispute and not a cowardly yielding to force. To undermine this moral basis for compromise with Israel, Palestinian leadership flatly denies any ancient Jewish connection to the land. They claim, for example, that there never was a Jewish temple on the Temple Mount from which Jesus could have chased the money-changers. Yet their own history belies this claim. In 1929, the Supreme Moslem Council in Jerusalem, in its guide to the Mount, wrote: “[The Temple Mount’s] identity with the site of Solomon’s Temple is beyond dispute.” The US may not be able to induce the Palestinian Authority to stop inciting its constituents and teaching its children to hate Israel. But there are ways in which the US can expose and eventually defeat Palestinian lies that work against peace; ways that do not require getting agreement from anyone. Exploring these new approaches would constitute a striking change in diplomatic direction. There are many examples of the West rejecting truth on behalf of the Palestinians and their Arab supporters. For example, some Western countries went along with the recent denial by UNESCO of any ancient Jewish connection to the land of Israel. The US politely ignores the Palestinian lie that there was never a Jewish temple on the Temple Mount. If the US consistently tells the truth about the ancient Jewish presence in Palestine, and publicly refuses to swallow the Palestinians’ false and anti-peace denials of history, the Palestinian leadership will not for long be able to keep the truth from their people, or at least from the large educated class. The US has followed a policy of avoiding truths that are painful or embarrassing to the Arabs for at least 50 years. It hasn’t worked. Maybe it is time to try the strategy of telling the truth. Moving the US embassy to Jerusalem, in accordance with the long-standing congressional position, would be a good way for President Trump to make a start on a truth-telling strategy – as well as to fulfill a campaign promise.

Free and Useful Android Applications especially for Israel

Android is a mobile operating system developed by Google. It is installed on smartphones and tablets. My Samsung 3 cellphone uses the Android operating system. There are thousands of free Android applications at the Google store. Below are 12 free and useful programs that I recommend. Several of the programs are supported by ads and some have ad-free paid versions. I use the free versions. After each application description is a link to its download page. Note to Apple users: Many of these applications are also available for Apple iOS devices.

PriceZ

Israeli food price comparison application including barcode scanner. The application is written in Hebrew but it is very easy to use. If you do not know Hebrew, let a friend just install it for you. The application lets you easily scan in the barcodes of the food packages in your kitchen and you can add each item to your shopping list. You can check the price range of each product and see which supermarkets near you are the cheapest per item or the whole shopping list. Another use: If you are having trouble finding an item in an unfamiliar store, you can show the store employee a photo with description of the product you are looking for. Google id=il.co.PriceZ.android

WhatsApp Messenger

WhatsApp Messenger is a free messaging app available for Android and other smartphones. WhatsApp uses your phone's Internet connection (4G/3G/2G/EDGE or Wi-Fi, as available) to let you message and call friends and family. Use WhatsApp to send and receive messages, calls, photos, videos, documents, and Voice Messages. Google id=com.whatsapp

Moovit

Moovit is a public transit app and mapping service which features trip planning, live arrival and departure times, up-to-date line schedules, local station maps, service alerts, and advisories that may affect one's current trip. I use the application all the time when I travel by bus. Google id=com.tranzmate

Waze - GPS Maps and Traffic

Waze is the world's largest community-based traffic and navigation app. Join drivers in your area who share real-time traffic & road info to save time, gas money, and improve daily commuting for all. Just by driving with Waze open, you're already contributing tons of real-time traffic information to your local community. You can also actively report accidents, police traps and other hazards you see on the road. Get road alerts along your route and find the cheapest gas prices around you shared by the community. Plus, you can add friends, send locations or keep others posted on your arrival time. Google id=com.waze

Google News and Weather

Your comprehensive and personalised view of headline stories and local news & weather. Coverage from 75,000 publications. Tune your layout with any of 60 country-specific editions, homescreen widgets and personalised news sections. Google id=com.google.android.apps.genie.geniewidget

TuneIn Radio

Listen to your favorite radio stations for free with TuneIn Radio. With over 100,000 stations, TuneIn has the largest free selection of sports, news, music and talk radio from around the world. tunein.player

Accuradio (music and audio)

AccuRadio offers 1,000+ free customizable music radio channels, unlimited skips, wide variety, and less repetition. Choose from more than 50 different genres of music: rock, pop, jazz, country, classical, electronic, holidays, alternative, comedy, and more. You can customize each channel with unlimited skips, by banning artists and songs you don't like, and by rating the music to influence what you hear. Google id=com.slipstream.accuradio

Morfix - Hebrew English Translator

Comprehensive and accurate English Hebrew and Hebrew English dictionary and translation free app. Google id=com.official.morfix

CalJ Jewish Calendar

Jewish to secular date conversion and vice-versa Dates of the festivals and events, for any year Parasha of the week Rosh Chodesh Shabbat times Everyday zmanim Bircas haMazon Birthdays and Memorials Google id=net.calj.android

HebDate Hebrew Calendar

HebDate is a full Hebrew (Jewish) & Secular Calendar (Luach). Full month views for Hebrew and Secular calendars. You can view any date since creation. View Day, Week, & Agenda. Full Android Scheduling Calendar. View and Edit Events. Chagim, Daf Yomi, and More. Zmanim for all locations. Widget that can be added to the home screen. Countdown timer for all Zmanim. In-app subscription available for removal of banner ads. Google id=com.lionscribe.hebdate

On Your Way Yesod (Uvelechtecha Baderech)

Virtual Library of Jewish books. I use the siddurim section when I do not have access to a printed siddur. The full application includes: TaNaCh (Bible) with all the classic commentators; Mishna with the commentaries of Bartenura and Tosfot Yom Tov; Talmud (Gemara) with the commentaries of Rashi and Tosfot; Midrash Raba, Midrash Tanchuma and Yalkut Shimoni. Several versions of Siddurim Google id=oyw.tnc

Sefaria

Sefaria delivers 3,000 years of Jewish texts (Torah, Tanakh, Mishnah, Talmud, and more) to your smartphone. All texts in the library are available in Hebrew along with a growing body of English translations. Search by keyword or browse the table of contents to explore texts, translations, and commentaries. Google id=org.sefaria.sefaria

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Muzzling the muezzin

Drafting a new law especially for “religious institutions” – a thinly veiled code word for mosques – is counterproductive.



THE KABABIR MOSQUE in Haifa.. (photo credit:Wikimedia Commons)



Crackling sound systems, off-key and overly zealous muezzins, and interminably long calls for prayers can, for some, be an annoying feature of living in the Middle East. But while fighting noise pollution is important as part of a larger effort to protect our environment, it should be tempered by sensitivity to religious freedom and the need for equality before the law.

Unfortunately, a proposal approved on Sunday by the Ministerial Committee for Legislation to ban “religious institutions” from using outdoor loudspeakers to call the faithful to prayer is misguided, and liable to become a needless source of tension between Muslims and Jews.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu justified his support for the legislation by arguing that “citizens of all religions” have complained to him countless times about noise from the muezzin.

“Israel is committed to freedom for all religions, but is also responsible for protecting its citizens from noise,” Netanyahu said. “That’s how it is in cities in Europe. I support similar legislation and enforcement in Israel.”

When abused with high volume, the call of the muezzin can be a form of noise pollution. But the way to deal with it is not through legislation which targets Israel’s Muslim population and Muslim residents of the West Bank, but by enforcing existing laws that protect the citizens of Israel from all forms of noise pollution.

Mosques should be held accountable, not because they are mosques or because they are “religious institutions” but because they are polluting the environment with unlawfully high decibel levels at hours of the day and night when Israeli citizens have the right to rest. This could even be seen as a religious obligation to respect the peace and quiet of others.

From the point of view of the State of Israel, enforcement of the law should be done in a fair and equal way regardless of the religious affiliation of the transgressor. Late-night party-goers who disturb neighbors should be treated the same way as the muezzin. The issue is the noise being made, not who is making the noise or what the intentions – or purported intentions – of those making the noise might be.

It might be true that the muezzin sees the raising of the decibels of his call to prayer – the adhan – as a religious duty to publicize his faith.

Joint Arab List MK Haneen Zoabi seems to view the high decibel level of the muezzin as a strategy for coercing Jews to move elsewhere.

“Those who suffer from the sounds of the muezzins are specifically those who chose to settle near the mosques, and… they are invited to leave if they are suffering so much,” she said. “This isn’t Europe here. Anyone who feels like he is in Europe, and thinks this is Europe, should consider going there.”

But none of this should concern the lawmaker, who should be concerned with achieving equality before the law.

Drafting a new law especially for “religious institutions” – a thinly veiled code word for mosques – is counterproductive, as it will increase tension in an already tense relationship between Jews and Muslims in Israel.

The government should rather take steps to make sure existing laws against noise are properly enforced. MK Ze’ev Elkin should work together with Public Security Minister Gilad Erdan to ensure that mosques adhere to the laws governing noise. No special dispensations should be given to “religious institutions,” nor should these institutions be singled out.

Netanyahu, Elkin and the other ministers who support the bill might gain points among their right-wing constituents in the Likud for passing an anti-muezzin law. But the price they will pay in unnecessary tension with the Muslim population and a breakdown of the principle of equality before the law is too high.

Canaanite Period Trove of 3600 year old artificats found at the Tel Gezer archeology site

Trove of 3,600-year-old artifacts found near Judean foothills



Ancient gold, silver artifacts dating back to the Canaanite period are discovered in an archaeological site on the Judean foothills • Discovery includes fabric, which in itself is a rare find • Artifacts placed in what is believed to be a prayer complex.
Dan Lavie


The medallion found in the dig | Photo credit: Klara Amit, Israel Antiquities Authority




A treasure trove of ancient gold and silver artifacts dating back some 3,600 years was recently discovered in Tel Gezer, an archaeological site on the Judean foothills, the Israel Antiquities Authority and the Israel Nature and Parks Authority announced Monday.

Gezer, or Tel Gezer (Hebrew: גֶּזֶר)(also Tell el-Jezer) is an archaeological site  in the foothills of the Judaean Mountains at the border of the Shfela region roughly midway between Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. It is now an Israeli national park. In the Hebrew Bible, Gezer is associated with Joshua and Solomon.

It became a major fortified Canaanite city-state in the first half of the 2nd millennium BCE. It was later destroyed by fire and rebuilt. The Amarna letters mention kings of Gezer swearing loyalty to the Egyptian Pharaoh. Its importance was due in part to the strategic position it held at the crossroads of the ancient coastal trade route linking Egypt with Syria, Anatolia and Mesopotamia, and the road to Jerusalem and Jericho, both important trade routes.

Discoveries related to biblical archaeology include: a probable Canaanite high place with ten monumental megaliths (up-ended stones, each of which is called a masseba or matseva, plural massebot/matsevot; such are found elsewhere in Israel, but the Gezer massebot are the most impressive examples); a double cave beneath the high place, but predating and not connected to it; 13 inscribed boundary stones, making it the first positively identified biblical city; a six-chambered gate similar to those found at Hazor and Megiddo; and a large Canaanite water system comprising a tunnel going down to a spring, similar to those found in Jerusalem, Hazor and Megiddo.

The Canaanite period artifacts were found by a joint excavation mission of the IAA, Parks Authority and New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. Lead archaeologists Dr. Eli Yanai of the Antiquities Authority, Dr. Zvika Zuk of the Parks Authority, and Drs. Jim Parker and Dan Warner -- both of the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary -- agreed that the trove was most likely part of a ceremonial offering that was laid in the center of the multilevel structure being excavated.

The artifacts were found in a pot wrapped in fabric that was still somewhat intact. An analysis of the fibers and the method of weaving indicated the fabric was a type of linen

The fabric find is highly important in and of itself, as there have only been two fabric finds in Israel dating back to the Canaanite period.

The find includes five artifacts, three of which were made of silver that has become considerably corroded, preventing researchers from studying them properly. The other two items include a silver medallion and a gold-framed seal.

The medallion consists of a silver disk on which an eight-pointed star is engraved. The disk is flanked by two thin "horns," from which it would have connected to a rope or a chain.

Archaeologist Dr. Irit Tziper said that the symbols on the disk are known to represent Canaanite gods similar to the Mesopotamian gods Ishtar and Sin.

The second artifact found was a gold-framed Egyptian seal from the Hyksos period.

Analysis of the artifacts indicates that the trove was placed in its location as an offering in a structure likely seeking to synthesize Mesopotamian-Canaanite gods and Egyptian culture. The structure complex itself is part of a Middle Canaanite period city that includes an impressive gate, a wall and the large Canaanite water tower known to date.

"Gezer was one of the most important cities in the land of Israel during the Canaanite period," Parks Authority Director Shaul Goldstein said.

"Its importance continued through the period when King Saul rebuilt the city. Finding this trove is a significant accomplishment that shines a light on the Canaanite culture in Israel 3,600 years ago, and further cements Gezer's position as a significant archaeological site."

Must Learn, Best & Modern Hebrew Slang Words Hebrew: מילון סלאנג עברי

To successfully integrate into Israeli society, you need to learn Hebrew. Knowing Hebrew slang, colloquialisms and idioms is important when you are trying to fit in and trying to learn the Israeli culture.

We have chosen the very best Hebrew slang words and common phrases that will help you understand the locals. They'll make you smile and some of them might even crack you up!


Achla

Is an Arabic word - meaning great

For example: An Achla dress or an Achla movie. In Israel there is even a brand of hummous called Achla

אחלה

Al HaPanim

The literal translation is "On the face"

It actually means: Terrible or awful

For example: This flu is really getting to me - I am feeling al ha'panim

על הפנים


Avarnu et Paro, na’avor gam et zeh

Translated it means: We overcame Pharaoh (in Egypt) and we will get through this too.

Its meaning: We overcame immense hardship and we will overcome this too.

For example: It’s been more than five hours already and we haven’t solved the problem. Don’t worry, avarnu et Pharaoh, na’avor gam et zeh.

עברנו את פרעה נעבור גם את זה


Balagan

Means: A mess, a catastrophe or complicated situation.

For example: There is such a balagan in the kitchen, I'd better clean up. Or you could say; there is such a balagan in the government at the moment, every day something else happens.

באלגן
Be’shu'shu

Be'shu'shu means doing something quietly or secretly behind the scenes without notifying anyone

Example: He didn't tell us he got a new car. He always does things be’shu'shu.

בשושו


Beten gav

The literal translation of this is: Stomach, back

It means: A time of relaxation, when all one does is turn over from ones back to ones stomach.

For example: I've been working so hard lately, I really need some beten gav.

בטן גב


Boker tov Eliyahu

The literal translation of this is: Good morning Eliyahu!

It means: Nice of you to show up or remember

For example: Boker tov Eliyahu! Where have you been? We said 10am and it's now12

בוקר טוב אליהו


Elef Ahuz

Translates to:1,000 percent

It means: Being absolutely certain about something.

For example : Are you sure you he is having an affair? Yes - elef ahuz!

In other countries we'd say - one hundred percent, but In Israel everything is ten times bigger or more important than anywhere else!

אלף אחוז


Eichsa fichsa or eichs

Literally means: Yuck

For example: Eichsa, this food is not tasty at all

איכסה פיכסה


Eizeh seret

The literal translation is: What a movie

The meaning: A series of out-of-the-ordinary events in real-life and usually with a negative connotation

For example: You can't believe what we had to go through at the border crossing.... Eizeh seret!

Also, of course, if you saw a great movie, you would say: Gee, the Titanic, eizeh seret!

Face

The literal English translation is quite obvious.


However, in Hebrew, Face refers to Facebook.


For example: I posted my Selfie on my Face

פייס


Fadicha

An Arabic word meaning an embarrassing failure, a mess or slip-up

For example: Eizeh fadicha! I fell asleep at work today.

פדיחה
Gihatzta et HaCartis Ashray

The literal translation of this is: You ironed your credit card

Its real meaning: You spent a lot on your credit card in a really short period of time

For example: You bought a lot today - Gihatzta et HaCartis Ahsray!

גיהצת את הכרטיס אשראי


Gilita et America

Translates to: You discovered America!

Its real meaning: Wow! Tell me something I don't know.

For example: You're not gonna believe it but they're actually making onion flavored crackers now. - Really? Gilita et America!

גילית את אמריקה


Ha’dod me’America

The actual translation of this is: The uncle from America

It means: The rich uncle, family member or even a friend from the US who spoils his “poor” Israeli relatives with gifts.

For example: I wish I had a dod m’America who would send me the latest iphone!

הדוד מאמריקה


Haval al HaZman

Its literal translation is : Pity about the time!

It can be a positive reaction - its fantastic! It can also have a negative connotation - its a waste of time!

Positive example: It was such a great movie - haval al ha'zman

Negative example: It was such a boring movie - haval al ha'zman

Teenagers use it too. The first three letters of each word are abbreviated to Hav'laz

For example: She bought such a stunning outfit - hav'laz!

חבל על הזמן


Janana

A word of Arabic origin meaning aggravating, annoying or irritating

For example: Ata Ma'vi li et HaJanana - You're annoying me! ג'ננה


Jiffa

Translates to: A revolting or disgusting mess

It means: Grime or gunge

For example: I have to wash the kitchen floors and get rid of all that Jiffa



Kama kama?

The literal translation for this is: How much, how much?

It means: What's the score?

For example: In the basket-ball game between Maccabi and Hapoel you would ask your friend: Kama, kama?

כמה כמה


Kef retzach

Literally: Kef is slang for fun & Retzach means, murder


It actually means: The best or to die for


For example: His barmitzvah party was kef retzach

כף רצח


Ke’ilu da

The literal translation: Like, duh!

It's teenage slang for stating the obvious.

For example: Mom says to her son: Have you done your homework? He answers - Ke'ilu da!

כאילו דה


Koo Koo

A Koo-koo is a pony-tail in your hair or the hair band used to make one

For example: Mom, I've got gym today, please make a koo-koo for me

קוקו


Ma Ha Ma'tzav

The actual translation of this is: What is the situation or what's up?

For example: Hey ben-adam, ma ha'ma'tzav? Hey man, what's up?

מה המצב


Magniv

Means: Cool!

For example: So you’re all coming to my party. Magniv!

מגניב


Ma ani, ez?

Its literal translation: What am I, a goat?

It means protesting against unequal treatment or being invisible

For example: After noticing all the kids got candy except him, Danny turns to his mother and says: "Ma ani, ez?"

Nafal lee ha’asimon

The literal translation of this is: My token dropped

An 'asimon' was the token you dropped in, in order to pay for a call on Israel’s public payphones until the 1990s, It had a hole in the middle and sometimes people would wear them on chains around their necks.

It actually means: It finally hit or dawned on me.

For example: Now I know why he did that. Nafal lee ha’asimon, I finally figured it all out!

נפל לי האסימון


Of mechubas

Translates to: a chicken that has been laundered

Its actual meaning: A bland chicken over-cooked in boiling water or an overly repeated situation

For example: If we have to go to your parents for the holidays, we will be forced to eat the same old Of Mechubas she always serves, but if we go to my parents.....

Another example: We've spoken about this so many times before, its like an Of Mechubas.

In Anglo countries you might use the phrase 'Don't cook your cabbages twice'

עוף מכובס


O-to-to

A common saying meaning; In just a moment or very soon

For example: I've got an appointment o-to-to. I have to get going

Another example: She is close to her due date. She'll give birth o-to-to

אותותו


Pa'am Shlishit, Glida!

Literal translation: Third time, ice-cream!


Third time lucky is the closest in meaning. Used when you meet someone, a couple of times in a very short space of time.


For example: I've seen you twice already today, pa'am shlishit, glida!

פעם שלישית, גלידה


Pony

It has nothing to do with a young horse. It means a hairstyle with a fringe or bangs

For example: At the hairdresser's - Should I give you a pony this time?

פוני


Protekzia

Means: Utilizing your connections in Israel, to your advantage.

For example: Joe got the job because his father knows the managing director. He's got protekzia. Protekzia is also now commonly referred to as Vitamin P

פרוטקציה


Sababa

Means: great or wonderful

For example: How are things with you? Sababa thanks!

סבבה


Shtrudel

The actual meaning, as we all know, is that delicious European cake with apples and nuts.

In Israel it means: The (at) @ sign in an email address

For example: This website's email address is anglolist shtrudel gmail dot com

שטרודל


Shtu'yot Be Mitz Agvani'yot

Translates to: Nonsense in tomato juice

Its meaning: It's nonsense

For example: I don't agree with you, you are talking "shtuyot be mitz agvaniyot"!

שטויות במיץ עגבניות


Smoch aly

Its translation: Trust me!

It is an arrogant expression that things will work out

For example: The landlord says to his tenant: I'll get it fixed by next week, don't worry, smoch aly! (Yeah, yeah!)

סמוך עלי


Sof Haderech

Translates to: The end of the road

It actually means: Great or fantastic

For example: We ate dinner at that new sushi place, the meal was the best I've ever had it was sof haderech!

סוף הדרך


Sof ha’olam smola

The literal translation is: The end of the world, on the left

It actually means: The middle of nowhere, an isolated place in the back of beyond.

For example: You won't even find it on the map. They live on some sand road 30km south of Dimona. It’s sof ha’olam smola!

סוף העולם שמאלה


Sponja

Literally translates to sponge or sponging

It refers to cleaning the floor the Israeli way. A sponga is a broom-like object that has a long spongy, rubber attachment called a "goomi" to which you throw over a wet floor rag and clean the floor. In some countries this device is called a "squeegie"

For example: I can't meet you for breakfast on Friday morning, I have to sponja the floors and get rid of all that jiffa.

Ta'im Retzach

Literally: Ta'im means tasty and retzach means murder It actually means: Absolutely delicious - to die for!

An example: My mother's chopped liver is ta'im retzach!

טעים רצח


Tfu, tfu, tfu…

Is a superstitious saying commonly used all over the world.

For example: Don’t worry mom, she is a healthy child. -Tfu, tfu, tfu…

טפו טפו טפו


Walla

Walla is a Hebrew slang word that has a wide variety of interpretations. Depending on the pronunciation, it could mean: really, Hmm.., I see or okay

For example: The new Harry Potter book has just been published. The excited Harry Potter fan answers: Walla!

There is also a well known local news website called 'Walla'

וואלה


Zeh zeh

Translates to: This is it.

It means: This is it, it's meant to be.

For example: I love him and he loves me. Zeh zeh.

You could also say: This is the perfect dress for my sister's wedding. Zeh zeh!

	זה זה

Israel's Supreme Court .... the struggle to change its composition to reflect the will and opinion of the democratically elected Government

The latest battle in Israel’s ongoing struggle to define itself is being fought over the way Supreme Court justices are selected. The 15 justices are appointed by a judicial selection committee of 9 members:

• The Minister of Justice, who chairs the committee,
• One additional cabinet minister, chosen by the cabinet (i.e., the government),
• Two Knesset members, one from the coalition and one from the opposition,
• Two members of the Bar Association, selected by the association, and
• Three current justices of the Supreme Court, including the President of the Court (Chief Justice).

Presently, a super-majority of 7 committee members is required to approve a candidate. This gives the existing court justices a veto power, and – since the Court and the Bar Association lean leftward – gives left-of-center candidates a significant advantage. It also means that the Court is self-selecting and unaccountable.

The Israeli Supreme Court has far more power than the US Supreme Court. Rules about justiciability (what matters are in the purview of the Court) and standing (who can petition the court) are far looser than in other democracies; any citizen can petition the Court about any action of the government. It can throw out a law passed by the Knesset even if there’s no litigation about it. Or it can let it be known before a bill is passed that it will not approve it in its present form, and thereby force changes.

The Court greatly expanded its role and its power as a result of the activities of Aharon Barak, who was a justice from 1978-95, and its President from 1995-2006. The American jurist Richard Posner explains just how much power Barak placed in the hands of the Court (his hands!) in a review of one of Barak’s books. It is eye-opening.

Many Israelis feel that that it is unacceptable that in a democratic country so much power is held by an institution that is almost entirely not accountable to the people or its elected representatives. On the other hand, there is great respect for the Court and for the importance of having an independent judiciary and a rule of law.

The present Minister of Justice, Ayelet Shaked, has submitted a bill to the Knesset to change the rules so that only a simple majority of 5 members will be required. This would eliminate the veto power held by the current justices.

I used the expressions ‘right’ and ‘left’ above, but that isn’t the whole story. The disagreement is about much more than the desire of politicians to have a court that will take their side about issues like the development of Israel’s gas reserves, drafting Haredim, or the settlement enterprise. It is about the most basic principle of all: what kind of state will we have?  Most will say that it is a Jewish and democratic state, but ideas of what this means in practice diverge widely.

Israel doesn’t have a constitution; instead it has a number of Basic Laws that partially define the nature of the state. There has been a great deal of discussion about what constitutes the Jewish aspect of the state, and recently there was a controversial attempt to introduce a Basic Law that would specify its precise meaning. The Supreme Court was a silent partner in all discussions about the law, because it was clear to all parties that the court would immediately test it – and probably find any non-vacuous version inconsistent with the existing Basic Laws. Various versions of the law were discussed, but so far nothing has been passed. If such a law does pass, chances are that it will be less ambitious than the earlier versions.

Is it an appropriate role for a court to judge the state’s self-definition? Or is this something that should be left to the representatives of the people?

The Amona settlement decision is another situation in which the ideological bent of the Court may have played a role. The settlement of Amona was declared to have encroached on land which was owned by Palestinians, and ordered by a court (and the order approved by the Supreme Court) to be demolished. The Knesset, looking for a compromise, proposed that the Palestinians be compensated and the buildings allowed to remain. But the Attorney General indicated that the Court would find such a solution “unconstitutional.”

The case was very complicated, as are all land ownership issues in Israel. The settlement had been there for several years and the Palestinians had not worked the land in question. The case was brought by a left-wing, foreign-funded NGO (“Yesh Din”) on their behalf. Could there really be no option other than destroying the settlement?

Something is backwards here. In a democracy, the power to govern ultimately resides with the people. In a modern state they express their will through their elected representatives. It is important that the rights of minorities be respected, but it is the majority that decides. But in Israel, the Supreme Court is not selected or even confirmed by the representatives of the people. There are no checks and balances – there is no way the Knesset can appeal or override a court decision. It is both totally independent and all-powerful.

And unfortunately, it leans in one direction. It values a European vision of democracy, universalism over nationalism, a “state of its citizens” over the more conservative, Zionist idea of a state that belongs to the Jewish people. When the Court believes that Zionism and minority rights conflict, it chooses minority rights.

Today there is a struggle between the remnants of the secular, Ashkenazi, universalist, dovish, elite that once ran the country, and the more religious, more Mizrachi, nationalist and hawkish population that is now the majority, and which elects right-wing candidates to the Knesset. It is being played out in the arena of arts and culture, where Miri Regev is challenging the old establishment; it is also happening in the academic world, where Naftali Bennett as Minister of Education is trying to rein in the excesses of the professorate. In the last few days we’ve seen yet another cultural struggle, this one over the new Public Broadcasting Corporation, which Likud politicians say has been co-opted by the left-wing journalists that overwhelmingly dominate the media.

All of these elites have maintained their control of these realms because they are self-selecting. They complain about “political interference” and “undemocratic” actions by the ministers that are trying to change them, but in reality it is the politics of today’s Israel that is trying to “interfere” with institutions that are run according to the politics of the 1960s.

The Supreme Court is the most important and powerful institution in the state that is still firmly in the hands of the old left-wing elite. Even if you think it is a benevolent despot, it is still a despot. Shaked’s bill to end its incestuous means of reproduction is a good start to bringing it in line with the rest of the nation.

"From the Bard of Bat Yam, Poet Laureate of Zion: Limericking and Roasting Donny J Trump "There once was a Rump called Trump from Towers name same ,

These are limericks about the strangest of all American politicos, Donald Trump. Like a Bizarro Bozo from an alternate universe, Trump materialized on planet Earth, seeming almost human except for his giveaway orange "hair." Now, disguised as a warm-blooded human being, Trump pretends to be a "nice" person while showing his true nature by insulting women for their looks, naysayers for exercising their First Amendment right to disagree with him, and millions of Americans for not being white Christians with lily-white skin and views similar to Trump's, even though he has clearly never read his Bible, much less lived by it. Recently, the Trump of Doom revealed that if elected president, he wants the US military to track down the widows and orphans of dead terrorists and either "take them out" or cause them to "suffer" in "retribution." Previously, he had vowed to have 11 million suspected illegal immigrants rounded up and deported without due process, including children born in the US who are therefore citizens according to the 14th Amendment. The Donald seems to believe that he can trump the Constitution! Can the Teflon Don and his neo-fascist revival of the Holocaust be defeated by humor? One can certainly hope, so here goes ...



Toupée or Not Toupée, That is the Question

There once was a brash billionaire 
who couldn't afford decent hair.
Vexed voters agreed:
"We're a nation in need!"
But toupée the price, do we dare?




What would the price of a Trump presidency be, really? Would Donald Trump create an American Holocaust by deporting 11 million people, including multitudes of completely innocent children and their mothers? Is Trump the second coming of Adolph Hitler? Yes, nicknames like Hair Hitler and Hair Furor are amusing, but are they also accurate, and perhaps prophetic?



Trumping the Truth 

With their lies, guys like Donald Trump try us. 
Prove them wrong, they just laugh and defy us. 
They keep getting their way 
Cuz there’s NO price to pay. 
Call them out? They shout, "Media bias!" 
—Madeline Begun Kane aka Mad Kane 



Stumped and Stomped by Trump

There once was a candidate, Trump,
whose message rang clear at the stump:
"Vote for me, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!,
because I am ME,
and everyone else is a chump!"




Limerick Ode To Putin-Loving Trump
Donald’s concept of leadership’s thuggery 
And his chief expertise is skulduggery. 
Run our nation? That guy? 
Just the thought makes me cry! 
Trump belongs in a well-padded snuggery. 




Bunko 
Agent Orange is full of bunk: 
Tiny-fingered, he claims a big "trunk." 
And his "platform"? Oh my, 
I think we'd all die! 
And he can't even claim he was drunk! 


NOTE: Donald Trump claims that he doesn't drink alcohol, except when he partakes of Holy Communion. However, Trump insulted the body and blood of Jesus Christ when he spoke dismissively of his "little cracker" and "little wine." He claims to be a Christian, but also said that he never asks God for forgiveness! 



De-Bunko

There's something I'd like to debunk: 
the GOP's not in a "funk." 
The Donald, by choice, 
is its unfiltered voice. 
Vote for someone who's sane, or we're sunk! 

Champ or Chump?

There's a boastful campaigner named Trump
who is doing quite well on the stump. 
All his insults and gaffes 
only get him more laughs. 
Will he wind up a champ or a chump? 

Fooling Around
Ronald McDonald Trump-Bozo 
cried, “Clinton Clown cheats with his yo-yo! 
He plays fast and loose! 
It’s clearly abuse! 
Whereas broads love to bounce on my pogo!” 


BTW, it's amusing that Rudy Giuliani is now Trump's surrogate, defending him from accusations of sexual assault and other improprieties by scores of women, when in a 2000 "Mayor's Inner Circle" video, Giuliani in drag had his "breasts" schmoozed by The Donald, after which Giuliani slapped his face and called him a "dirty boy." Obviously, Giuliani was well aware of Trump's reputation for grabbing and groping women without bothering to ask for their permission! Trump's outrageous behavior was a running joke among alpha males in his circle. In 1993, fellow bad boy Howard Stern asked Trump directly: “So you treat women with respect?” Trump answered honestly: “No, I can’t say that either.” And hundreds of chauvinistic public statements and tweets by Trump confirm that he doesn't treat women with respect, or minorities, or anyone that he considers "weak" or "overweight" or "unattractive." 


An Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Dear Donald, I’m begging you: Run! 
Join the "clown car" and add to the fun. 
A debate with your mouth 
Is sure to go south. 
Is there anyone nuttier? None!

Trumping Tots

Things that go bump in the night 
fill Herr Trump with irrational fright; 
his brain hits the skids;
he shrieks, "Ban dark kids!"
Where's his self-lauded "courage" and "might"?
Is cowardice Trump's kryptonite? 

Trump Explains Why His Hair Looks Like Shit: It's Been Bleached By Drool 

"Although my hands are quite tiny, 
I have an enormous hiney; 
so I stick my head in, 
predicting I’ll win, 
while everyone kisses it shiny!"

Be Careful What We Wish For 
Picture Trump with the GOP nod. 
Yes I know that sounds terribly odd. 
But its base is bizarre, 
And he’s gotten this far… 
Plus his rivals are nearly as flawed.

In theory, this might be a boon 
For the Democrats: "Clinton v. Loon!" 
There are risks though, galore: 
If George Bush could "Trump" Gore, 
Odds are strong we'd (s)elect this buffoon.

Trump the Game Plan

There once was a huckster named Trump
who liked to be kissed on the rump.
He promised awed voters
if they'd be his promoters,
he'd magically fix up their dump. 

Now the voters were dreaming of Ronald
and hoping they'd found him in Donald.
And so, lightly "thinking"
after much heavy drinking,
they put out, as if they'd been fondled. 

But once he'd secured the election
Trump found his fans cause for dejection.  
"I only love tens!"
he complained to his "friends,"
then deported them: black, white and Mexican.

Thus Donald fulfilled his sworn duties
by ridding the land of non-cuties.
Once the plain Janes were gone
he could smile on his throne
surrounded by imported beauties! 


Trump Dump by the Philippines Unwanted

I know, it seems outrageous, 
But it’s getting a lot of attention 
On some very respectable Web pages — 
Which mainstream media won’t mention: 
Donald Trump was not born in Queens, 
He was born in the Philippines, 
In a hotel in downtown Manila. 
Where his hair turned bright vanilla 
Due to vitamin deficiencies.
―Garrison Keillor (not exactly a limerick, but close enough for our purposes here) 



Egad,
what a cad;
the Orange Heffalump 
scowls when he sees 
a baby bump!
Like the Grinch who stole Christmas
(but every day of the year),
The Donald eyes happy
mothers with a leer!


NOTE: Donald Trump actually body-shamed Kim Kardashian for having a baby bump, saying that she was "large" and ought to watch the kind of clothes she wears in public! 


Donald Trump Campaign Songs

Christmas is coming!
Tycoons are getting fat!
TRUMP says, "Take a piss
in some beggar's hat!
Beat him to a pulp
then run him out of town
if he dares object to
the MAN with the GOLDEN CROWN.
And if you're not a Christian,
nothing else will do!
But if you are like TRUMP,
then may TRUMP bless you!


SANTA CLAWS is coming to town!
He sees Spics when they're sleeping
and Blacks when they're awake!
He knows that Whites are always good,
but dark skin is God's mistake. 
So if you're some poor child
with slightly darker skin,
BIG BROTHER will be WATCHING
blacks, Mexicans, Syrians!"

"From the Bard of Bat Yam, Poet Laureate of Zion: Limericking and Roasting Donny J Trump "There once was a Rump called Trump from Towers name same ,

These are limericks about the strangest of all American politicos, Donald Trump. Like a Bizarro Bozo from an alternate universe, Trump materialized on planet Earth, seeming almost human except for his giveaway orange "hair." Now, disguised as a warm-blooded human being, Trump pretends to be a "nice" person while showing his true nature by insulting women for their looks, naysayers for exercising their First Amendment right to disagree with him, and millions of Americans for not being white Christians with lily-white skin and views similar to Trump's, even though he has clearly never read his Bible, much less lived by it. Recently, the Trump of Doom revealed that if elected president, he wants the US military to track down the widows and orphans of dead terrorists and either "take them out" or cause them to "suffer" in "retribution." Previously, he had vowed to have 11 million suspected illegal immigrants rounded up and deported without due process, including children born in the US who are therefore citizens according to the 14th Amendment. The Donald seems to believe that he can trump the Constitution! Can the Teflon Don and his neo-fascist revival of the Holocaust be defeated by humor? One can certainly hope, so here goes ...



Toupée or Not Toupée, That is the Question

There once was a brash billionaire 
who couldn't afford decent hair.
Vexed voters agreed:
"We're a nation in need!"
But toupée the price, do we dare?




What would the price of a Trump presidency be, really? Would Donald Trump create an American Holocaust by deporting 11 million people, including multitudes of completely innocent children and their mothers? Is Trump the second coming of Adolph Hitler? Yes, nicknames like Hair Hitler and Hair Furor are amusing, but are they also accurate, and perhaps prophetic?



Trumping the Truth 

With their lies, guys like Donald Trump try us. 
Prove them wrong, they just laugh and defy us. 
They keep getting their way 
Cuz there’s NO price to pay. 
Call them out? They shout, "Media bias!" 
—Madeline Begun Kane aka Mad Kane 



Stumped and Stomped by Trump

There once was a candidate, Trump,
whose message rang clear at the stump:
"Vote for me, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!,
because I am ME,
and everyone else is a chump!"




Limerick Ode To Putin-Loving Trump
Donald’s concept of leadership’s thuggery 
And his chief expertise is skulduggery. 
Run our nation? That guy? 
Just the thought makes me cry! 
Trump belongs in a well-padded snuggery. 




Bunko 
Agent Orange is full of bunk: 
Tiny-fingered, he claims a big "trunk." 
And his "platform"? Oh my, 
I think we'd all die! 
And he can't even claim he was drunk! 


NOTE: Donald Trump claims that he doesn't drink alcohol, except when he partakes of Holy Communion. However, Trump insulted the body and blood of Jesus Christ when he spoke dismissively of his "little cracker" and "little wine." He claims to be a Christian, but also said that he never asks God for forgiveness! 



De-Bunko

There's something I'd like to debunk: 
the GOP's not in a "funk." 
The Donald, by choice, 
is its unfiltered voice. 
Vote for someone who's sane, or we're sunk! 

Champ or Chump?

There's a boastful campaigner named Trump
who is doing quite well on the stump. 
All his insults and gaffes 
only get him more laughs. 
Will he wind up a champ or a chump? 

Fooling Around
Ronald McDonald Trump-Bozo 
cried, “Clinton Clown cheats with his yo-yo! 
He plays fast and loose! 
It’s clearly abuse! 
Whereas broads love to bounce on my pogo!” 


BTW, it's amusing that Rudy Giuliani is now Trump's surrogate, defending him from accusations of sexual assault and other improprieties by scores of women, when in a 2000 "Mayor's Inner Circle" video, Giuliani in drag had his "breasts" schmoozed by The Donald, after which Giuliani slapped his face and called him a "dirty boy." Obviously, Giuliani was well aware of Trump's reputation for grabbing and groping women without bothering to ask for their permission! Trump's outrageous behavior was a running joke among alpha males in his circle. In 1993, fellow bad boy Howard Stern asked Trump directly: “So you treat women with respect?” Trump answered honestly: “No, I can’t say that either.” And hundreds of chauvinistic public statements and tweets by Trump confirm that he doesn't treat women with respect, or minorities, or anyone that he considers "weak" or "overweight" or "unattractive." 


An Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Dear Donald, I’m begging you: Run! 
Join the "clown car" and add to the fun. 
A debate with your mouth 
Is sure to go south. 
Is there anyone nuttier? None!

Trumping Tots

Things that go bump in the night 
fill Herr Trump with irrational fright; 
his brain hits the skids;
he shrieks, "Ban dark kids!"
Where's his self-lauded "courage" and "might"?
Is cowardice Trump's kryptonite? 

Trump Explains Why His Hair Looks Like Shit: It's Been Bleached By Drool 

"Although my hands are quite tiny, 
I have an enormous hiney; 
so I stick my head in, 
predicting I’ll win, 
while everyone kisses it shiny!"

Be Careful What We Wish For 
Picture Trump with the GOP nod. 
Yes I know that sounds terribly odd. 
But its base is bizarre, 
And he’s gotten this far… 
Plus his rivals are nearly as flawed.

In theory, this might be a boon 
For the Democrats: "Clinton v. Loon!" 
There are risks though, galore: 
If George Bush could "Trump" Gore, 
Odds are strong we'd (s)elect this buffoon.

Trump the Game Plan

There once was a huckster named Trump
who liked to be kissed on the rump.
He promised awed voters
if they'd be his promoters,
he'd magically fix up their dump. 

Now the voters were dreaming of Ronald
and hoping they'd found him in Donald.
And so, lightly "thinking"
after much heavy drinking,
they put out, as if they'd been fondled. 

But once he'd secured the election
Trump found his fans cause for dejection.  
"I only love tens!"
he complained to his "friends,"
then deported them: black, white and Mexican.

Thus Donald fulfilled his sworn duties
by ridding the land of non-cuties.
Once the plain Janes were gone
he could smile on his throne
surrounded by imported beauties! 


Trump Dump by the Philippines Unwanted

I know, it seems outrageous, 
But it’s getting a lot of attention 
On some very respectable Web pages — 
Which mainstream media won’t mention: 
Donald Trump was not born in Queens, 
He was born in the Philippines, 
In a hotel in downtown Manila. 
Where his hair turned bright vanilla 
Due to vitamin deficiencies.
―Garrison Keillor (not exactly a limerick, but close enough for our purposes here) 



Egad,
what a cad;
the Orange Heffalump 
scowls when he sees 
a baby bump!
Like the Grinch who stole Christmas
(but every day of the year),
The Donald eyes happy
mothers with a leer!


NOTE: Donald Trump actually body-shamed Kim Kardashian for having a baby bump, saying that she was "large" and ought to watch the kind of clothes she wears in public! 


Donald Trump Campaign Songs

Christmas is coming!
Tycoons are getting fat!
TRUMP says, "Take a piss
in some beggar's hat!
Beat him to a pulp
then run him out of town
if he dares object to
the MAN with the GOLDEN CROWN.
And if you're not a Christian,
nothing else will do!
But if you are like TRUMP,
then may TRUMP bless you!


SANTA CLAWS is coming to town!
He sees Spics when they're sleeping
and Blacks when they're awake!
He knows that Whites are always good,
but dark skin is God's mistake. 
So if you're some poor child
with slightly darker skin,
BIG BROTHER will be WATCHING
blacks, Mexicans, Syrians!"